Cynthia J. Welborn
“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle,open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, Impartial and sincere.” -James 3:17
Here is a scenario for you. Your partner makes an unauthorized purchase without your consent. You are expecting to have the money to pay the bills or to be able to put in savings. Instead you go to look in the bank account and it is not there. You want to blow up and scream at them, but here are some healthier and more effective ways to go about it.
First you have to be open to reason. Acknowledge the issue at hand without blowing up. Talk to your partner about it and ask questions. Was this purchase needed, was it an impulse, or was it something else all together. Perhaps it was a charge he knew absolutely nothing about. After all, identity theft is a real thing. But I digress.
Next you have to be impartial. Listen to the other side of the story. This is where being open to reason comes into play. Open your mind to what your partner has to say about the purchase. Maybe it was unnecessary (which is probably what you’re thinking). Perhaps it was to help out a friend in a pinch for groceries, lunch, etc.
Last but certainly not least you have to be sincere. Tell him what you think ONLY after you listen to his side. This is the most critical part of all this. Whether or not the purchase made was necessary, tell him to communicate it with you. Maybe set up a budget for miscellaneous items.
If you go straight to screaming and yelling then all you are going to get out of him is either yelling, or you will end up sounding like Charlie Brown’s teacher. So don’t forget to listen to your partner.
Soli Deo Gloria!